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KARD NEWS
The Worlds Most Infactual News Source

Kardashtuku website taken over

The ULF has taken over the Kardashtuku website. We do not know what this means for the future of Kardashtuku, but they have a pretty cool flag not gonna lie.

24-7 to lose lawsuit against doctor with “worst case ever made”-Judge

Doctor Frank Grays to win lawsuit against 24-7, but states that his business will not survive the lawsuit and he will have to shut down office.

May 1, 2015

Literally and Co. Proud to announce new Literally Lemon

Literally Companies announces Literally Lemon, I don’t know what it does all I know is that it is a lemon. This new product is all they needed to form a break-off company from Kardashtuku

According to scientist, the moon isn’t made out of cheese

A recent study shows that the moon comprises of 0% cheese. Scientist are still baffled at what they found. Some scientist say that the moon is made of milk, not cheese. What does this mean for the dairy industry, how will the Italians react.

“so far the information we found is definite, we are still looking into the milk moon thing.”

Sonysoft to sell company?

Last week, Sonysoft publically announced thay they may sell their company to toyota, after hearing this, Toyota put out this comment

”We don’t want to buy sonysoft, why in the hell would we even want to do that”

Crazy man does what again?

*the image above is a picture of an idiot, to get the idea through*
Crazy Florida man declares independence in southern Miami, quickly retracts his statement saying quote

"I never have, and I never will drink soda. So why in gods green earth would I want to die"

We found this to be a great lesson for people who want to commit war crimes (don't do it)

President Barack Obama creates clean renewable energy by ACCIDENT!

Vice Governor Barack Abomo trips on top of a machine causing it to suddenly create renewable energy and cure cancer. Scientists are still looking into this amazing feat.

Single youtube comment converts THOUSANDS to christianity

Breaking news, a single comment Converted 4,500 people to Christianity, abandoning their faiths and traditions because they were so inspired. According to statistics in the Vatican City, the population nearly tripled in one day. We got a quote from a newly converted Christian to try to figure this whole thing out

"I was just watching a YouTube video on how to fix a flat tire when I stumbled past this comment, I quickly left my church that I was in for 43 years to join Christianity." - Muhammad Greenfield

Breaking news: This cat can NOT eat the swag meal

After many were asking the owner of this cat if it can eat the Swag meal, sadly the owner came back saying that no, it has not and will not eat the swag meal don't @ me. we attempted to get in touch with the owner to ask why it won't but they never got back to us.

Breaking news: Big Sad Weasel is STILL sad

According to Murphy's law, the big sad weasel is sadly, still sad.

Breaking news: Jeff Bezos is no longer the richest man in the world

Jeff Bezos was overtaken by Elon Musk in wealth, making Jeff only the second richest man in the world. Although this may seem to be bad for Bezos, he still has hundreds of billions of dollars so who fuckin cares anymore.

Breaking news: Obama Re-Elected as Dictator for life

Brack Obunga is elected by the people as dictator for life. We asked a local for a quote and they said this

"That's great, can you leave me alone now"