Short Stories

History that happened

In the 16th century, in a time of colonization and exploration a kid was born, Albert Main. He was born in London, England (Correction: Beijing, China), and was immediately abandoned by his parents. He was in fact abandoned, but it is more factual to say that his parents just lost him in the local zoo, This is where the unfortunate story of Albert begins. He was born when he was around the age of 5 years old and has been proven to have suffered from Oslo Syndrome (Which means he can't comprehend the basics of common sense), but he was really good at painting. At the young age of -2, Albert began painting perfect renditions of the human anatomy and knew more about it than most doctors of the time. Doctors hate him, but he was able to draw the perfect anatomy of humans in 3 simple steps, only at the small cost of a monthly subscription to this newsletter. He was eventually seen as a witch, and earned himself the name, "Witch Boy" in London, and was driven out of his birthplace, Beijing China (Correction: London, England). Due to his infamy, he could not return to England so he decided to move to the quaint small little village of Beijing, China, where he wrote a memoir about suffering from Oslo Syndrome (A disease that makes you very sleepy). His book (titled "Harry Potter and the Chocolate Factory") was published in the Peoples Republic of China on March 8th, 1962 when he was about 25 years old. He had earned 20 million dollars worldwide just from royalty fees, but having Oslo Syndrome (A disease that causes death when convenient to my plot), he suffered a seizure stoke attack aneurysm. His legacy was remembered for millions of years until 2006 when people forgot his name because they had Oslo Syndrome (a disease that makes people forget about historical figures who also had Oslo Syndrome).

The Great Ones: General Idea

The Great Ones

The Story of the Great, The Sad, and the Zuccbamaberg Urkel

Plot:

To understand this, I will have to go back 10 millennia....and then forward 7 millennia....(so actually just 3 thousand years). In the small hard working town of Googlae In the nation of Estonia on the 'Bama Peninsula, a new ideology has been formed by Yortin Tobin the third. It calls for a world of division and monarchy. He believed that the world could not survive with a united world order. This new ideology is called Youtubism. Although many respected his opinion, it was only 100 years after his death the influence of his book was finally seen. 3 new nations would rise from the ashes of Yahoonia, Trom Trom, OneTwoThreeGoh, Fiev MenutCraftes, and Bellum Degeneouros, These four nations expanded past their territories so far that they had owned the entire North East of the world. They were believed to have joint rulership, but recent discoveries show that warlord tyrant Bellum Degeneouros had complete and utter control over all of the lands.

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the world, a new religion was founded by the three prophets Steve Urkel, Steve Harvey, and Mark Zuckerberg. They formed the Bob Rossian Religion, a religion based solely on the teachings of Bob Ross. The Rossian Empire formed in the southwest and soon expanded into the north and east. Despite their power, they collapsed due to the old rossian religion splitting into three. The three break-offs were the Harvian, The Urkelism, and the Zuckian religions. They soon divided the nation of Rossian into three independent states. Harvian followed the ideology of Economics and business, Urkelism followed a more anarchic style of government with their army consisting of worn militiamen and mercenaries. Zuckian followed the idea that voting is more important than anything else.

Meanwhile, in the southeast of the continent, a major power known as USBSW (United States of Big Sad Weasel) rose from the great city of Ribbletania to the lengths of the entire east coast of the continent. They could not hold onto this power any longer however because the nation broke into hundreds of city-states and warlords, although a nation was able to reunite most of the old northern territories of the empire, they were never able to reach the southernmost states due to the Da'Lama Mountain range.

From then to now not much has changed, although news reaches Steve Urkel that Bellum Degeneouros DCLXVI (666th) had planned on completing her expansionist plan by invading and destroying all of the Rossians and Big Sad Weasel....ians? She started by annexing Estonia and some northern Weasel territory. Urkle has to somehow find his old companions and reunite the Rossian Republic, This proves difficult for him but eventually, they were able to push back and destroy the Degeneouros dynasty along with the Youtubism Ideology.

Characters-

1. Steve Urkel- Protagonist

2. Steve Harvey- Second Protagonist

3. Mark Zuckerberg- Third protagonist

4. Bob Ross- God

5. Bellum Degeneouros the 666th- Antagonist

6. Trom Trom, OneTwoThreeGoh, Fiev MenutCraftes- Side antagonist

7. Obama- There

Setting-

Set in the fictional world of ςግტබຢ৯ (Jenashia, roughly translates to Parmesan Cheese in English). The world is split between four competing cultures that can't seem to get their stuff together, most to least influential cultures are Rossanian, Degenourite, Big Sad Weasel, and Da Lamanians (a sub-culture of Big Sad Weasel). The Degenourites seem to be getting ready to invade the rest of the entire freaking world, so the GSN (Gem Shopping Network) mafia sent this information to Steve Urkel (The Third Prophet of the Rossanian religion). He sought out to find the two other prophets, Steve Harvey and Mark Zuckerberg. He was able to find Steve Harvey in the capital of Harvania (Harvey). He then was able to find Zuckerberg in the capital of Zuccland (Zuckerburg). On the way to confront the main antagonist Bellum Degeneouros, they came across a small town called New Elizabeth, in this town they found Obama. Obama was known as the greatest person in the world due to his... Uh, I don't know?

After they recruited Obama it was only a matter of time until they met up with Bellum, The first encounter they had was really awkward and no one really knew what to do until Bellum just kicked them out, but this wasn't the end for the protagonist as they would find one thing that could beat Bellum, they CANCELed her.

Crazy

Awesome

Nukes

Can

Eleminante

Literally anyone

...yes, they just nuked her. I don't know how they got these nukes or why they thought that was the best idea...but I guess it worked. Honestly, I don't know if this is anticlimactic or the complete opposite.

Aftermath

After the events of the story, Urkel, Harvey, and Zuckerberg faced huge backlash because they basically committed war crimes. So when they got back to the New Republic of Rossania, Obama turned on the three prophets proving himself to be the one true Rossian Prophet on behalf of Bob Ross. Soon after, a large-scale double revolution split across the nation. Rossania was split on if they should kill the three prophets or let them rule in a constitutional monarchy ESC nation. Eventually, the Constitutional monarchists won the war and were able to protect the prophets. Obama became the constitutional king of Rossania.

Moral of the story-

No... There is no moral to this story. What did you even expect, this is a story about Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Urkel, and Steve Harvey founding a religion and defeating an off-brand Ellen Degenerous played as a warlord tyrant. If you even came close to a moral that is meaningful and fits this story then please tell me because you need to be sent to mental detainment because you are a borderline psychopath.

Rossanian Family Tree (Incomplete)