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Kardapedia

The most educational corner of the internet

The great mega snail-

The Great Mega Snail is a snail about the size of one inch, it inhabits northwestern Antarctica and makes little huts out of rocks. It is most famous for its ability to comprehend complex algebraic equations and its ability to spontaneously combust upon death. Many scientists say it smells like a mix of cherry shampoo and week-old cow urine. One of the local snail communities have had struggle adjusting to the American life and formed up little gangs such as the Snail Gang, The Salt-Sleepers, and The Hardbacks; which has only escalated the long-going race war against the slugs as many neo-slugzie groups such as the Snail Heads are becoming more and more prevalent. Many of them are being deported back to Antarctica. This snail also has a very interesting trait where they can stick to hard surfaces easier.

The Super Mega Grand Great Snail (cochlea-magna)

image by Harrald Weasle-Breath

The Space Lizard Thingy-

The Gekko-locus is a new species of gecko found on Mars. One of the Mars rovers found it living inside of a large space cave next to a space mountain. This "Space Lizard" (term deemed by space scientist Balll Smiksteen) has been discovered to eat nothing but moon energy, the energy that Mar's moon (Suckadeez) emits from radiation or something like that. The Space Lizard is about 12 space inches long (14 feet) and 3 space millimetres tall (0.5 meters). It has a tongue the size of a space bike (half the size of a bike) and destroyed the rover. It can reach speeds up to 76 earth miles per second (2 space miles). It weighs 600 space stones and has radiation-absorbing skin. It set up a little space TV in its hole and learned perfect space Mandarin in 3 minutes. Although this discovery is cool and all, scientists are not impressed. I mean who really cares about lizards? We have enough of those on Earth. This discovery is very insignificant and the scientists plan on harvesting the remaining space lizards for oil (or something like that). We also nuked the surface of Mars because we wanted to, cutting the native space lizard population down by 50%. Many rich people are attempting to domesticate the space lizard, which has only led to either the space lizard dying or the rich person dying.

Image by Bruh Is That A Space Lizard!?!?

The Literally Sponge

The Literally Sponge is a sponge that optimizes cleaning by 100%. It has a microchip implanted inside the center of the sponge with a very high resolution camera that detects all kinds of dirt on dishes and tables. The information is uploaded to a network where it collects information such as the amount of dirt, the percent of dirt, your address, what kind of dirt, and even what kind of soap to use on the dirt. All you need to do is turn it on and let it charge for approximately 6 hours. The inside of the sponge must not come in contact with water for it will destroy the entire contraption so you will have to be very careful. When signing into your WIN account, you get all the information you need about how to clean your house with only a two minute delay. After about six months, the WIN app is able to detect how often your house needs cleaning using information about how fast your house gets dirty, how many people live in your house, how often you have friends over, when you sleep, where you sleep, how you sleep, and how many security measures there are set up in your house. All you have to do is leave it plugged in with the camera facing your front door. WIN then collects this data to help you clean and also helps with personalizing your ads. All you need to do to get the Literally Sponge is to buy it and sign up for the WIN app. It is currently only $650 and is going to be 50% off on the first of December so make sure you don't waste time, and buy it now.

Image by IDK (This isn't actually the Literally Sponge)